We all have a gazillion passwords we have to remember. And in a twisted effort to help us manage all of these bits of information, the Man has determined the TOP SEVEN things we all talk about in our blogs, around the office, at the dinner table, and in our sleep are:
My favorite what? Element? Okay, so when was the last time any of us looked at a periodic table? ...is this a trick question? Are you sure you didn't mean fruit or color or shape or philosopher? Am I supposed to have one? Dear god, exactly how far behind the Jones' am I??
Okay, okay. Calm down. There are others to choose from...
Jesus H. Christ. People actually have a favorite smell? Do farts count? Gasoline, maybe? Favorite smell. Hmm. If I have one, I most certainly won't remember what it is 45 days from now. Next.
Favorite song? You mean, now? Today? This morning? I listen to far too many new songs and keep having new favorites on a weekly basis. No, this will never do.
My mother's mother's last name before she got married to my mother's father one hundred years ago? Next.
My pet's birthday? WTF? How about something simpler like my pet's name? No, no. It would confuse hackers even more if we had to remember our pet's favorite smell... Jesus help me.
Ah, here we go. My first pet's name. Oh, man. My first pet's name. This question depresses me beyond words. I was only eight...poor little Dilbert, the hissing cockroach. I miss him terribly so. Yes, I want to be reminded of that terrible blender incident on a regular basis. No, I don't think so.
Okay, last chance. My combined score on the SAT. "IDIDNOTGOTOCOLEG" won't fit. I'm so screwed. What's a damn good score? Think. THINK.
Note to self: My secret four-digit PIN is now my combined SAT score.
Problem...solved.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
I'm A Cyborg Not A Machine, Dammit
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6 comments:
passwords?...I use profanity that way when I get pissed off because I can't remember the ****ing word during my fit of rage I'll eventually get it correctly...
what's in my pocket?
the puzzle to my passwords is one I can never reveal even under oath. but it's a fascinating exploration you've introduced.
i use the fibonacci sequence for all my passwords.
and i do short lines on my poetry because it makes it go faster.
Ugly little troll, very ugly.
my favorite smell is where the cotton attaches to the roll on empty charmin toiletpaper.
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