There are so many little things we take for granted. Like, hugs from your mother, having lips to hold cigarettes, small labias, and being able to take a piss while shitting. Let me explain...
It's cold in my neck of the woods. Hella cold. Witch's tit cold. Snow cold. So cold that I apparently needed full-body santa claus red thermal underwear. Can't you see that?
A few fun facts about full-body thermal underwear:
1. They come in Santa Claus red!
2. They have buttons all the way down the front!
3. They have a flap where your ass is for easy access to shit through!
4. They in no way prepare you for the nightmare that is trying to use the bathroom while wearing them for the first time!
The sensation of taking a dump while feeling fully clothed is unsettling to say the least. Now for the audience participation part: Next time you have to do number 2, try doing so without doing number 1. Guess what? It is unsettling to say the least, especially when all of this is happening at work where urine stained clothes are très out of fashion.
My advice? Go commando.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Near Disaster
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3 comments:
that flap makes me want to fuck you like an animal.
Urine stained clothes are out of fashion?
Fuck.
thermal underwear is for nerds... move to a place that doesn't get below 32 degrees you peon!
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