Tuesday, June 06, 2006

God Is A Woman

KIEV (Reuters) - A man shouting that God would keep
him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo
after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo
official said on Monday.

"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists',
lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his
shoes off and went up to the lions," the official
said.

"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and
severed his carotid artery."

I'm no scientist nor surgeon, but I'm thinking that was a bad thing.

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About Me, Not You

I was christened Wannahockaloogy by our tribal leader. He was a bitter old man with throat cancer who believed that, to truly hock a loogie, one must not retrieve the phlegm from the throat, but from the soul. His weakened, delirious state made it easy for me to overthrow him and seize control. Now, I am the chief and I have internet access. Beware, delirious smoking populace. Beware.