Tuesday, April 16, 2013

How to Watch Curb Your Enthusiasm DVDs on AppleTV

I am the proud owner of the first seven seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm on DVD. I also own an AppleTV (1st and 2nd generation). I also find it a terrible pain in the ass to add DVDs that I own to my iTunes library so I can watch them via AppleTV whenever I so desire. Enter VLC and Handbrake.

Handbrake lets me rip the DVD files into m4v files that I can import into iTunes. Handbrake uses VLC to decode the DVD files. Handbrake and VLC have to be the same bit version to work together (32-bit or 64-bit). Let the games begin.

I had to install the 64-bit version of VLC to match the 64-bit Handbrake version I had installed. Then I realized my Handbrake version was outdated, so I had to update it. Then I found that libdvdcss was missing. Enter our Lord and Savior, Mister Google.

Missing a 64 bit libdvdcss for HandBreak on Mac OS X

With libdvdcss.pkg v1.2.12 downloaded and installed, I launched Handbrake, selected the DVD video folder, and started ripping the DVDs into m4v files to import into iTunes.

That is all.

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future

Now you listen directly to me, for I am the ghost of Christmas past, and I have come to show you what Christmas was like. This was Christmas for little Carl in 1968. You remember that Christmas, don't you? The war of man against machine raged on through the early seventies. You don't remember because back then it was only a prophecy. But now, in the future, the past has occurred.

Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus: an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dino-bone and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators who were awoken by the searing grunts of the children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year; for many were killed!

Thousands of years ago, a warlike race of elves from the red planet landed on the ice-encased earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the unevolved Santa ape to make his confused toys, using galactic elfin technology for Evermore Sanchianados. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like 'train' but these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked in a big way.

Thousands of years ago, the ice had made the globe unnavigable. Santa ape did not know what a north pole was. How could he? He was born before science existed, so he arbitrarily placed his workshop right here, long before they unionized, and Christmas was celebrated at each full moon in front of the great red ape.

And that is where babies come from, for machines.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

How To Moon The Sun

Notice: Useful only if you have one leg and a big ass foot.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Fry, Korean Peter Pan, Fry

Submitted for your approval, a dramatization of Peter Pan over the 38th Parallel:

Friday, May 20, 2011

Blowing Hard Eggs And Other Sexy Cooking Tips

1. Poke a small hole at the fat end of the egg (where the air pocket is). This allows the egg to release pressure thereby preventing its shell from cracking during the boiling process. It also has the added benefit of reducing the buoyancy of the egg.

2. After boiling the egg for 8 minutes, cool the egg in ice water and pinch off a bit of the shell at each end of the egg.

3. Firmly palm the egg and blow into one end of the shell. The egg will slip out the other end without any need to peel it.

Friday, April 29, 2011

!!! The USA Pays More For Gas Than China and Russia !!!

Out of 141 countries, the United States of America pays more for gas than thirty nine other countries.

Is there anyone that can save us?

Are you listening Donald Trump?

Donald Trump - "You're not gonna raise that FUCKIN' price!"

Great, now I have an erection election Cholera.

About Me, Not You

I was christened Wannahockaloogy by our tribal leader. He was a bitter old man with throat cancer who believed that, to truly hock a loogie, one must not retrieve the phlegm from the throat, but from the soul. His weakened, delirious state made it easy for me to overthrow him and seize control. Now, I am the chief and I have internet access. Beware, delirious smoking populace. Beware.