Monday, October 25, 2004

Sinner at the Door

Recipe for Halloween Angel-Devil Cake (you can have it and eat it, too)
Add one part ignorance, two parts fear, and a liberal amount of over-reaction and you can count on an unpalatable treat every time!

Ingredients
Ignorance - Preferrably a well-aged misconception of Halloween being a celebration of Satan and all things evil.
Religious Fear - Best if tenderized by years of Bible thumping.
Psychological Fear - Preferably use transference from terrorism. During an election year, substitute with fear mongering.
Reaction - Add liberally; Do not measure, best if unchecked.

Preparation
1. Set Homeland Security Advisory Sytem to High*.
2. In a melting pot, gradually mix main ingredients together (best results if incorporated at an early age).
3. Allow to fester until hot.
4. Force portions onto unsuspecting neighbors.
5. Serves one Nation, under God.

*In the Bible Belt, use the "orange" setting to compensate for illiteracy.

Origination
Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Clever and funny, I enjoyed it but I fail to see the relationship between the current political environment and regional religious ignorance. As far as I can tell, code orange has nothing to do with the propagation of religious fanaticism.

In spite of that disconnect, it is a fresh blast of the absurd.

Christine Ratzlaff said...

I believe that it was a great 17th century philosopher from Wisecrackerton, England, who said, "Once in a great while we come upon the wisest of asses, and we must bow to him."

Wait, no, that was me. Loving the recipe for certain fun and hopeful immoral degradation. It was sure tasty.

About Me, Not You

I was christened Wannahockaloogy by our tribal leader. He was a bitter old man with throat cancer who believed that, to truly hock a loogie, one must not retrieve the phlegm from the throat, but from the soul. His weakened, delirious state made it easy for me to overthrow him and seize control. Now, I am the chief and I have internet access. Beware, delirious smoking populace. Beware.