Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Lifting Semi-Liquefied Vegetation Is Not A Fanciful Activity

So it's the day after Thanksgiving. You know, November 26th. And I'm lounging at home in some comfy sweats, since I have the day off from work. I hear the squeaking of some car brakes outside so I investigate and it's the mailman making the rounds. In this case, the mailperson... ok, mailwoman. Happy? So I decide to go get the mail.

As I walk out my front door, I notice these two flat brownish looking mounds on either side of our stone walkway. They are what remains of the two hollowed out pumpkins that I placed outside for Halloween! You know, October 31st. That's four weeks ago. Twenty seven days in dog years, or something like that. Not good.

Being the manly man that I am, I make the executive decision that it's time to get rid of them. So I'm trying to lift one "pumpkin" to place it onto/into the other "pumpkin" so I can carry them to our backyard compost pile. Now, for those that don't know: Lifting semi-liquefied vegetation is not a fanciful activity, no.

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About Me, Not You

I was christened Wannahockaloogy by our tribal leader. He was a bitter old man with throat cancer who believed that, to truly hock a loogie, one must not retrieve the phlegm from the throat, but from the soul. His weakened, delirious state made it easy for me to overthrow him and seize control. Now, I am the chief and I have internet access. Beware, delirious smoking populace. Beware.