Wednesday, January 13, 2010

All That Praying Finally Paid Off

Statutory rape is the crime committed when an adult has sexual intercourse with someone under the legal age of sexual consent. If the crime is reported (even if your partner is your boyfriend/girlfriend), that person may be arrested, tried in a court of law and sent to jail - where they will be anally raped regardless of their age.

According to the innernets, the sexual consent age in West Virginia is 16. Not so fast. That's for female/male sex. For same-sex sex? 18.

Two things: 1) People are weird 2) Thank you, God

"I would love to blank your blank, Bob, but I'm only 17. So I'll be blanking your mom until I'm mature enough to know that my actions have consequences. See you at church!"

Here's a picture of Sara Palin talking about how she prefers to be blanked:

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About Me, Not You

I was christened Wannahockaloogy by our tribal leader. He was a bitter old man with throat cancer who believed that, to truly hock a loogie, one must not retrieve the phlegm from the throat, but from the soul. His weakened, delirious state made it easy for me to overthrow him and seize control. Now, I am the chief and I have internet access. Beware, delirious smoking populace. Beware.